Another blogger I follow posted a video for a song. She gave fair warning that it would make you cry so instead I googled the lyrics. I'm glad I didn't listen to the song at work because it would make me cry. I'm a little sad reading the lyrics because it's how I feel. There's a part in the song where she says she's been given so much yet feels incomplete. That's where I'm at. I know I should feel grateful for all that I have. I have a good job. A loving husband with a stable career that affords us luxuries. We are able to travel a few times a year. Go out to eat and have fun. I'm in school to finish my bachelors. I am grateful. Yet there is still a piece that is missing.
I called Dr M's office yesterday because we still hadn't gotten a bill for the IVF procedures. The financial lady said they were waiting on sending one out until they had all the info back from insurance. We have good news, we only have to pay $516.41 out of pocket. That is way less than the thousands we thought we were going to pay. I'm not sure why it is so low. I'll have to wait until I get the bill detail to figure out it. I would try IVF again in a heartbeat. I'd do all the shots and needles and appointments. If only we could afford it. Right now we would be completely out of pocket and $15k is a lot to drop on something that could potentially not work. Right now I just feel like we are going through the motions. It will take a miracle for us to get pregnant on our own. And unfortunately I am losing faith that the miracle will happen.
Kellie Coffey "I would die for that"
I've been given so much,
A husband that I love.
So why do I feel incomplete?
With every test and checkup
We're told not to give up.
He wonders if it's him.
And I wonder if it's me.
All I want is a family,
Like everyone else I see.
And I won't understand it
If it's not meant to be.
Cause I would die for that.
Just to have one chance
To hold in my hands
All that they have.
I would die for that.
